Support for Survivors
ABOUT CRIME & ABUSE
Abuse affects us all, and we all must be part of the solution. If you or someone you know needs support, contact our REACH Center 24 hour helpline at 518.943.4482. You are not alone.
Why People Stay
It's not as easy as simply walking away
Abusive relationships are extremely complex situations, and it takes a lot of courage to leave. Abuse is about power and control. When a survivor leaves their abusive relationship, they threaten the power and control their partner has established over the survivor's agency. This often causes the partner to retaliate in harmful ways.
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As a result, leaving is often the most dangerous period of time for survivors of abuse.
We're here for you
Safety & Supports
REACH Center 24 Hour Support Helpline
(518) 943-4482
Call our REACH Center helpline anytime, 24 hours a day. Trained staff provide crisis counseling and support services.
Countless reasons
Why it's hard to leave
When you're at the start of a new relationship, it's not always easy to tell if the person is an abuser. Many abusive people appear like they are the perfect partner early on and the abusive warning signs don't appear overnight. It can be something that may emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.
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This is one of the many factors making the situation complex and challenging. You've built a relationship, invested time, feelings, money... you may turn a blind eye, make excuses, or find some justification. There is no justification for abuse.
No matter the reason, leaving any relationship can be difficult; doing so in an abusive situation can feel impossible without the right access to support.
Fear
A person will likely be afraid of the consequences if they decide to leave their relationship. This can be of their partner's actions or concern over their own ability to be independent.
Normalized Abuse
If someone grew up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not know what a healthy relationship looks like. As a result, they may not recognize their partner's behaviors are unhealthy or abusive. To them, it's normal.
Shame
Many factors can contribute to someone feeling shameful of their abuse and may be difficult to admit to it. They may feel they've done something wrong, deserve the abuse, or that it's a sign of weakness.
Intimidation
A survivor may be intimidated into staying in a relationship by verbal and/or physical threats. There can be threats of retaliation such as sharing secrets or confidential details including revenge porn, or outing someone as LGBTQ+ who has not yet come out themselves.
Low Self-Esteem
Abusive behaviors can take a toll on both physical and mental wellbeing. After experiencing verbal abuse or blame for physical abuse, it is easy to believe that they're at fault.
Lack of Resources
Survivors may be dependent on their abusive partner. They may lack financial resources, been denied opportunities to work, have a place to sleep, language assistance, or a supportive network to turn to during moments of crisis.
Immigration Status
People who are undocumented may fear that reporting abuse will affect their immigration status. If they have limited English proficiency, these concerns can be amplified by a confusing legal system and inability to express their circumstances to others.
Cultural Context
Customs, traditions, or believes may influence someone's decision to stay in an abusive situation, whether held by the survivor, or by their family and community.
Children
When the person has had children with the abusive partner, they may feel guilty or responsible for disrupting their familial unit. It may also be used by the abuser as a tactic to guilt or manipulate the survivor into staying.
Love
Abuse often forms over a period of time, during which the survivor builds feelings of genuine care for a partner. Even when the partner is causing them harm, the survivor often may still have strong, intimate feelings. They may also maintain hope that their partner will return to being more like they were at the beginning of the relationship.
